Waterfront NickNames

30/03/06

This poem was read out at a recent Wellington Harbour Board reunion.

Some verses may be missing but the older generation of waterside workers will recognise many of the names.

Wellington Waterfront Nicknames  by R.J.(George) Morris

The house of twisted faces they call the Waterloo

And there isn't any reason to doubt, the apothegm is true

Most other pubs can claim a certain notoriety

But I think the Loo

Just beats them all for characters per se

 

Many a time I've drunk their health, when they have shouted me

And many a time they have drunk mine too, in reciprocity

At smokos, meal breaks and after five

The imbibing still goes strong

As worker stop to quench their thirst and join the happy throng

 

When singing stars they sing off key, and sometimes there's a fight

But all in all a better crowd you'd find it hard to sight

Their names are legend round the wharves

Where they all earned a crust

So come inside and meet them, it really is a must

 

There's Just a Minute, Butter Box, Aunt Daisy and Skinny too

Back at Six, the Chockar On, the Millionaire and Pooh

Green Hornet, Snuffy, Wife and I,  Lion Tamer and  Blue

The Sparrow, Gladys, Perfect Lover, Red Band

There are two, Junior and Senior, the pride of Waterloo 

 

Atomic Tom, the Tramper, Marmite, Bones and Shyte

The Stanchion, Silent Sufferer and not forgetting Cripes

Captain Pugwash, Praying Mantis, the Councillor and Stew

Cashmere Bouquet, Muscles and Polar Bear to mention a few

Boof-Head and the Ghost are there as the Professor does his mighty stare

 

By hypnotising Noddy who goes into a trance

Its hard to tell who's fooling who but it is all done just for laughs

Tea Pot Joe is off the tea and drinking you know what

Hi-Ho Silver and his big dog are sipping whisky tots

I'll look into it the Mirror says as Spike Jones remonstrates

 

Until the raucous noises from Screaming Skull abates

The Scottish Soldier's humming a tune so soft and low

The Northern Lights of Aberdeen along with Home Boat Joe

The House Detective downs another

Watched in awe by one called Mother

 

Whitebait supervises the bar to keep it free from sin

The Happy Wanderer wanders in then wanders out again

The Dribbler is singing a song called Rose Marie

Coat Hanger sips another gin and smiles cryptically

While Taranaki sucks his pipe gazing complaisantly

 

The Chief Justice sat only on big cases

That how he got his name

The Reluctant Fish wont go near the hook

That how he got his fame

No Bonus Jack's lamenting that the bonus is a sham

 

Fort Knox whose dentures are of gold is smiling brilliantly

Submarine Joe has just submerged and quit the Company

Death Adder and Blind Seagull are in earnest conversation

But still find time to drink their grog

With happy approbation